u

What is is like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring.

x

googlebus:

googlebus:

watching sex scenes on planes can be somewhat uncomfortable when you get an erection next to a sweet old lady 

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I’m not asking an old lady to chop my dick off what the frick 

sherlocksmyth:

how come it’s cool for snakes to spit venom and unhinge their jaw to swallow people whole, but when i do it, i’m the “antichrist” and i need an “exorcism”?

flynnabob:

Just look at how his boobs jiggle

7u7:

I don’t want it

sirlightbulb:

Do you ever just see the first sentence of a text message and just think “oh fuck no I do not have time for this shit”

droqo:

Well, if you were a better salesman I would’ve bought you a nicer tie!

silversora:

"Dave.."

"Fuck off Shaun I am taking a picture."

"DAVE."

thegeekyblonde:

when i was 12 i wrote in my diary that on shakespeare’s 450th birthday, i’d have a really hot boyfriend and subsequently lose my virginity on april 23rd, 2014. on shakespeare’s 450th birthday. exactly. 

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jordancwierz:

product-of-scotland:

jordancwierz:

do you ever wonder why we’re here?

It’s one of life’s great mysteries isn’t it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don’t know, man, but it keeps me up at night.

What? I meant why are we here, on tumblr, endlessly reblogging. What was all that stuff about god?

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